You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
