Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
