Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
