is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
