On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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