This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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