people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
