So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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