She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
