he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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