im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
