So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
