He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
