i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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