i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
