She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
