Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
