If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
