Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sober January is a disaster.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
