Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
