I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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