considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
