If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
