Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
