The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
