I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All the doctor said was why
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
