absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We have started to decorate penises.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
