No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
