btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
