They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pants are for mortals
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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