My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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