I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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