Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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