The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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