you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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