Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
