gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
