and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
