i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just pee around me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
