I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
