I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
