We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
