My boss' voice literally gives me gas
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
