What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
