He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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