We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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