i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Randomize
