I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
