i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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