So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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